The final moments    Leave a comment

When I lay finally and nobody comes to get me. I’ll wait for you 
I’m waiting for her is all he could think of

At 84 he lay down with peace in mind and heart fluttering far away. He knew this was it. He lay in his Santorum. It was his heaven and his reason for existence for the last 53 years. He was the exceptional artist.  A painter, whose success was based only on one subject- Maya. Lying in bed he looked around all his creations that he had done over the years.  All he could see was Maya. She reflected in all his paintings, she was the single source of inspiration to him.  From the first time, he met her to finally what his imagination carved her out to be it was all there.  She was his love for the number of years he could not even remember. As far as his memory went he felt he was born loving her. May be even before. All his life he had strongly placed his belief and heart in the corollary that the events in our lives today were set in motion a long long time ago. There is an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soul mate, we should remember that the act to bring us together was 500 years in the making. So, always appreciate and be kind to each other. Maya was his soul mate. She had touched his life like no other ever had. Such emotions are a carried forward of another life time, may be many

‌He had spent 4 years of his life being in love with her and the rest of it in her memory, holding her in his heart. In those 4 years, he lived his entire life. Those years gave his life a meaning and reason for existence. That was his purpose.  4 years that were worth the 83 that he lived. Anything after that was unreal and unimportant. His existence became those paintings he did of Maya. He lived for those fleeting moments when he caught a glimpse of her.  Walking down the road or driving away.  He was never too sure how my times he saw her or was she just an illusion created by his mind to calm his heart. Then he realised that it could not be an illusion.  If it was, she would have been with him
Why was she not with him he could not fathom. There was no reason and no logic. She had loved him just as much.  Then how did she go from being the epicenter of his life to a distant dream.  Someone who he could think of but not reach out and touch and feel her physical existence. The love they shared he knew was theirs and only theirs.  He knew she was a good wife, a perfect mother but her heart and soul belonged to him, like his to her.  He ached at that thought.  Then why was she so far far away.  That question had haunted him all his life.  And when all rationale beats you, you live in a stillness and the calm of acceptance. If he could talk he would talk and tell the world, acceptance and stillness is bliss in an ironical way. He would tell the world that love truly was magical. That love truly was when you melt away in it even without the person near you. He would tell the world that this was a perfect love story. It may not have had the cliché trajectory defined by society norms but it was perfect and more.  He loved her not to own her but just love her.  He knew that she did too.  She always would just as he did. And as he breathed his last, he knew that there was one person for whom the world would now stand still. Forever. He knew he could breathe his last in peace because she would come and get him.  When nothing was left, he had everything

Death ends a life not a relation, sometimes it gives a new life to a relation rebirth

Do we really die?? Did he really die or finally live

 

 

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Posted November 23, 2016 by nidhi khanna in Musings

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